Monday, March 17, 2008

What if number 48 - Hey there cowboy~~

What if a horse wanted to ride you instead?

Yee haw? Scary thought, some chicks do this for a living, playing with.... ya know.... stuff... well, lets just say, where do you think "hung like a horse" came from? I'd first of all take my horse to my local clinic and hear the doctor say, "is it just me? Or he has a long face!?" We'll have a laugh and then i'll smash him in the face with the horses.... tail! yes TAIL! That's after I ask him if it's safe for a horse to ride me. DUH! Of course it's safe - is what the doctor will say! Yee haw?

Which reminds me of a joke : One day, a man and his horse took the dog running in the field, they ran and they ran and then ran, then they stopped to take a break. Suddenly the dog said, "Man! I'm so tired!!" The man was so scared that he jumped on the horse and then they rode off as fast as they possibly can. They stopped, the man said, "Oh shit, did we lose him?! ", then the horse said, "I didn't know that dogs could talk!!"

What if number 47 - Charlie?

What if you saw a unicorn?

Well! a freaking UNICORN!!!! ZOMFG!!!! I'd rub my eyes! and then pluck it's horn off and sell it! That's assuming that I'm right about it being a real unicorn cus then i'll just be kicked in the face. I'd probably be kicked in the face.
ANYWAY seeing as how you're not suppose to approach "horse like" creatures with force and speed - it threatens them! YES massive several hundred kg beasts are scared of something literally HALF THEIR SIZE! AMAZING! I'd be the richest person in the world! Selling off 'REAL' unicorn horn. I'll name him charlie (see clip here). And i'll set a meadow on fire!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

What if number 46 - Moo!! what!!?

What if a sheep moo-ed at you?

Well, I'd ask myself, WHAT HAVE I BEEN SMOKING!!! And maybe I'll stare the sheep down in an ultimate eye lid closing contest. Most likely I'll win cause I'm so awesome i will scare the sheep into blinking! (yes yea, I know, sheep don't HAVE eye lids!!! [yes if you didn't know you do now]) It'll be ultimate!
Back on track! If a sheep did moo at me, i'll probably wait till it does it again, and again and then again! But besides from checking to see if i've been taking any illegal substances (or legal) I'd check to see if there's a cow nearby, cus if there's a cow nearby like say... NEXT TO THE SHEEP!!! it'll cover for the sheep by mooing with the sheep's mouth open! DECEPTIVE!!! Very!!!
Until next time a farm animal behaves strangely, I will behave strangely! <- i have no idea what that means.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

What if number 45 - Doors

What if doors have feelings too?

Little Timmy comes home and slams the door in anger cause his girlfriend broke up with him. He's very very angry - but hold on, this isn't a story about poor depressed Timmy, it's about the poor door who didn't really do much to Timmy in the first place. I mean, honestly, does the door deserve such a cruel punishment for no apparent reason at all? What if a door had feelings!!! Did you ever consider that? It was so happy minding it's own business and then BAM!! a boy with raging hormones destroys it's day by slamming him against well... the wall?
Should think about that :( Doors have feelings too....

Saturday, December 22, 2007

What if number 44 - Humiliation

What would you do!!?

Well seems to everyone (ahem!!! you guys suck!!!) that he'd get a slap in the face! And maybe a kick in the nuts! But come ON!!! Nobody likes being the center of attention! But you do have to give this guy a looooot of credit and guts to even try ANYTHING like this. Takes really large amount of courage and willpower to throw yourself at the mercy of another. Almost like putting yourself on the guillotine WAITING for your head to come off rolling.
But see it from my point of view. This man! Not this specific one cause this is a tv show, but if ANYONE did that, he will not hesitate to do anything else that would cause a lot of commotion. And will not hesitate to save someone else from humiliation. And they would ask you to do the same and be kind to them.

I'd call anyone a legend who will do this!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

What if number 43 - On fire!

What if you get so bored, your shoes CATCHES FIRE!!!?

Whhhhaaaaat? Catch fire? Shoes? Bordem? Shoes? Catch fire? What the hell?
These are probably your initial reaction to the first line. I would be too, but seeing as how it's a craft of sarcasm mixed with the creativity / lameness that comes with being bored. If these weren't your initial reaction, maybe "omfg, another post!! Panny posted another what if!!" is.

Anyway, back to the point. As an expression, this would be a rather dangerous one. You'll have a lot of accidental arson cases blazing around school (oh yes, he did, he did! he just used blazing) And everyone would have flame retardant shoes! That's awesome, and everything would have to be flame retardant. At least you won't have to worry about being a castaway on an island, worrying about fire. It'll come around in a while when you REALLY GET BORED.

I know, I'm gonna leave most of this post up to your own imagination, ways you can light fire, or a FIRE KICK!!! IN THE NUTS!!! Channel your inner bordem into a vicious attack using the element of FIRE!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

What if number 42 - Potions for sale!!

What if you could get health potions and energy/mana potions in RL!!!? (suggests Joseph)

Well!!! I'm pretty sure someone will try it out on their cut, by drinking it. And then magically they will get patched up instantly!!! NEAT!!! But.... i'll bet it comes at a very very insane price...

Many of the games you see in today's culture... that includes potions... do not allow your player to go to the toilet or even show weakness in any way. It's like... THEY'RE MACHINES!!! *DUH!!!* I'm pretty sure if someone made something of the sort, healing potions... first it'll be taken to the hospital to see if it can cure cancer patients... and when the withdraw symptoms hit, it'll probably kill them instantly. FUN TIMES!!!

Withdraw symptoms maybe be any of the following : Severe Diarrhea, Uncontrollable vomiting, Rectal bleeding, impotence, weakness to the joints, temporary blindness, inability to taste and touch, hemorrhaging in the fingertips, dry mouth. Consult your potion dealer before use.