Monday, March 17, 2008

What if number 48 - Hey there cowboy~~

What if a horse wanted to ride you instead?

Yee haw? Scary thought, some chicks do this for a living, playing with.... ya know.... stuff... well, lets just say, where do you think "hung like a horse" came from? I'd first of all take my horse to my local clinic and hear the doctor say, "is it just me? Or he has a long face!?" We'll have a laugh and then i'll smash him in the face with the horses.... tail! yes TAIL! That's after I ask him if it's safe for a horse to ride me. DUH! Of course it's safe - is what the doctor will say! Yee haw?

Which reminds me of a joke : One day, a man and his horse took the dog running in the field, they ran and they ran and then ran, then they stopped to take a break. Suddenly the dog said, "Man! I'm so tired!!" The man was so scared that he jumped on the horse and then they rode off as fast as they possibly can. They stopped, the man said, "Oh shit, did we lose him?! ", then the horse said, "I didn't know that dogs could talk!!"

What if number 47 - Charlie?

What if you saw a unicorn?

Well! a freaking UNICORN!!!! ZOMFG!!!! I'd rub my eyes! and then pluck it's horn off and sell it! That's assuming that I'm right about it being a real unicorn cus then i'll just be kicked in the face. I'd probably be kicked in the face.
ANYWAY seeing as how you're not suppose to approach "horse like" creatures with force and speed - it threatens them! YES massive several hundred kg beasts are scared of something literally HALF THEIR SIZE! AMAZING! I'd be the richest person in the world! Selling off 'REAL' unicorn horn. I'll name him charlie (see clip here). And i'll set a meadow on fire!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

What if number 46 - Moo!! what!!?

What if a sheep moo-ed at you?

Well, I'd ask myself, WHAT HAVE I BEEN SMOKING!!! And maybe I'll stare the sheep down in an ultimate eye lid closing contest. Most likely I'll win cause I'm so awesome i will scare the sheep into blinking! (yes yea, I know, sheep don't HAVE eye lids!!! [yes if you didn't know you do now]) It'll be ultimate!
Back on track! If a sheep did moo at me, i'll probably wait till it does it again, and again and then again! But besides from checking to see if i've been taking any illegal substances (or legal) I'd check to see if there's a cow nearby, cus if there's a cow nearby like say... NEXT TO THE SHEEP!!! it'll cover for the sheep by mooing with the sheep's mouth open! DECEPTIVE!!! Very!!!
Until next time a farm animal behaves strangely, I will behave strangely! <- i have no idea what that means.