Well!! Lets just get the obvious things that I'd do out of the way first
1.) rub my eyes and ask myself am I trippin on acid!!
2.) Take a serious chunk out of it with my teeth to see if it's edible.
3.) Ask the fairy god mother that turned it there "who the fuck are you"
4.) Shortly followed by a "Where are the horses?"
After a few minutes of explaining, that bitch told me she's gonna charge me by the hour and I have to provide the horses!! FUCK THAT!! Asked her how come cinderella got two!! She said that she had a "comes with free horses" back in those days SINCE THEY WERE DIRT CHEAP *relativity*
So I jump in the carriage and then chill for a while, and she was just getting so annoying telling me all these minor details. I signed and then turned up the stereo inside (dolby surround 7.1) Sat in there for a good while before I got bored of the music. Called up a bro and got hooked up with a few horses (don't ask). Took the carriage for a ride.
Me and the horses went all the way up to the top of that hill (which took a few hours) and then watched some moon. "Ahhh what a lovely sight" as i stared out from the carriage. Suddenly it started creaking and the entire thing started to shrink. I dived out only to have my foot caught by the door. Next thing I knew, it was a pumpkin again!
FUCKIN FINE PRINT!!!