What if number 48 - Hey there cowboy~~

What if a horse wanted to ride you instead?

Yee haw? Scary thought, some chicks do this for a living, playing with.... ya know.... stuff... well, lets just say, where do you think "hung like a horse" came from? I'd first of all take my horse to my local clinic and hear the doctor say, "is it just me? Or he has a long face!?" We'll have a laugh and then i'll smash him in the face with the horses.... tail! yes TAIL! That's after I ask him if it's safe for a horse to ride me. DUH! Of course it's safe - is what the doctor will say! Yee haw?

Which reminds me of a joke : One day, a man and his horse took the dog running in the field, they ran and they ran and then ran, then they stopped to take a break. Suddenly the dog said, "Man! I'm so tired!!" The man was so scared that he jumped on the horse and then they rode off as fast as they possibly can. They stopped, the man said, "Oh shit, did we lose him?! ", then the horse said, "I didn't know that dogs could talk!!"

What if number 47 - Charlie?

What if you saw a unicorn?

Well! a freaking UNICORN!!!! ZOMFG!!!! I'd rub my eyes! and then pluck it's horn off and sell it! That's assuming that I'm right about it being a real unicorn cus then i'll just be kicked in the face. I'd probably be kicked in the face.
ANYWAY seeing as how you're not suppose to approach "horse like" creatures with force and speed - it threatens them! YES massive several hundred kg beasts are scared of something literally HALF THEIR SIZE! AMAZING! I'd be the richest person in the world! Selling off 'REAL' unicorn horn. I'll name him charlie (see clip here). And i'll set a meadow on fire!

What if number 45 - Doors

What if doors have feelings too?

Little Timmy comes home and slams the door in anger cause his girlfriend broke up with him. He's very very angry - but hold on, this isn't a story about poor depressed Timmy, it's about the poor door who didn't really do much to Timmy in the first place. I mean, honestly, does the door deserve such a cruel punishment for no apparent reason at all? What if a door had feelings!!! Did you ever consider that? It was so happy minding it's own business and then BAM!! a boy with raging hormones destroys it's day by slamming him against well... the wall?
Should think about that :( Doors have feelings too....

What if number 44 - Humiliation

What would you do!!?

Well seems to everyone (ahem!!! you guys suck!!!) that he'd get a slap in the face! And maybe a kick in the nuts! But come ON!!! Nobody likes being the center of attention! But you do have to give this guy a looooot of credit and guts to even try ANYTHING like this. Takes really large amount of courage and willpower to throw yourself at the mercy of another. Almost like putting yourself on the guillotine WAITING for your head to come off rolling.
But see it from my point of view. This man! Not this specific one cause this is a tv show, but if ANYONE did that, he will not hesitate to do anything else that would cause a lot of commotion. And will not hesitate to save someone else from humiliation. And they would ask you to do the same and be kind to them.

I'd call anyone a legend who will do this!

What if number 43 - On fire!

What if you get so bored, your shoes CATCHES FIRE!!!?

Whhhhaaaaat? Catch fire? Shoes? Bordem? Shoes? Catch fire? What the hell?
These are probably your initial reaction to the first line. I would be too, but seeing as how it's a craft of sarcasm mixed with the creativity / lameness that comes with being bored. If these weren't your initial reaction, maybe "omfg, another post!! Panny posted another what if!!" is.

Anyway, back to the point. As an expression, this would be a rather dangerous one. You'll have a lot of accidental arson cases blazing around school (oh yes, he did, he did! he just used blazing) And everyone would have flame retardant shoes! That's awesome, and everything would have to be flame retardant. At least you won't have to worry about being a castaway on an island, worrying about fire. It'll come around in a while when you REALLY GET BORED.

I know, I'm gonna leave most of this post up to your own imagination, ways you can light fire, or a FIRE KICK!!! IN THE NUTS!!! Channel your inner bordem into a vicious attack using the element of FIRE!

What if number 42 - Potions for sale!!

What if you could get health potions and energy/mana potions in RL!!!? (suggests Joseph)

Well!!! I'm pretty sure someone will try it out on their cut, by drinking it. And then magically they will get patched up instantly!!! NEAT!!! But.... i'll bet it comes at a very very insane price...

Many of the games you see in today's culture... that includes potions... do not allow your player to go to the toilet or even show weakness in any way. It's like... THEY'RE MACHINES!!! *DUH!!!* I'm pretty sure if someone made something of the sort, healing potions... first it'll be taken to the hospital to see if it can cure cancer patients... and when the withdraw symptoms hit, it'll probably kill them instantly. FUN TIMES!!!

Withdraw symptoms maybe be any of the following : Severe Diarrhea, Uncontrollable vomiting, Rectal bleeding, impotence, weakness to the joints, temporary blindness, inability to taste and touch, hemorrhaging in the fingertips, dry mouth. Consult your potion dealer before use.

What if number 40 - My bad doc...

What if you enjoy your prostate examination a little too much?
Was just thinking about the whole checkup thing... As it occurred to me... what if you did... enjoy it a little too much... Been reading about stuff on the internet about how prostate stimulation could be pleasurable. Since the whole point to a prostate examination is to anal probe you, what if.... You... were to be... aroused by this foreign entity?

Well... personally... I'd probably say to the doc... "before we do this... i'm just gonna ask you a few questions... What if i were to be... ya know... aroused at it... cause i've been hearing things ya know... so... i'd like to know you a little better if we are gonna do this - just lemme know, do you likem big titties? or likem nice asses? comon! Just lemme know that at least"
If the doctor is gay... well.... at least he'll be gentle. That's always a plus.

"Ooopse, get the tissue, I'll clean that up" - hehehe
Just a random thought

What if number 39 - Food Transfer

What if all the food you ate went to somebody else? -Suggestion from Von Von

So! FOOD! Some people hate it, some people love it, some people can't get enough of it, and some people can't actually get any of it. Now! As we all sit around the campfire ROASTING MARSHMALLOWS (I'm... meeel... ting....) we come to realise that food is important. While there are still countries out there that suffer from poverty, we shall always finish out meals. All true asians are taught one thing. IT IS A SIN TO LEAVE A GRAIN OF RICE IN YOUR BOWL!! It's true! Totally a sin!!

So... what if we can like... link our stomachs to someone else? Like.... "sponsor a child with this new device that transports all the extra food that you consume into their bodies on the other side of africa". THAT IS ONE LONG CATCH PHRASE. What a mouthfull. Try saying that 10 times 10 times faster than you possibly can.

I got commented that I was so thin, and I eat so much. Jo said that he reckons that all the food that I eat go to him, and all the food that he eats... well... goes to himself. So I'M HUNGRY!!

That would be cool though, but problem is... how would YOU get energy? Didn't think of that one von. EH!

What if number 37 - Me is Loco!

What if you can take crazy pills?

This came to my attention when Muugatu (sp) in Zoolander said "... I feel like I'm taking CRAZY PILLS!!!" TOTALLY AWESOME!!! I can picture a scene in my mind with a psychiatrist sitting on his chair and then a boring patient sits there.
"My life is so boring, I wish I were more.... adventurous," moaned the... moaning man.
"Hummm...." the psychiatrist glares at his wrist watch. (still 50 min!!! FUCK)
"I wish I could be like.... *sigh*"
"Hummm...."
"I sound depressed don't I?"
"Humm...... what? No... of course not."
"You're not listening to me!"
"No~~ don't say that. I'm just considering something (SHIT!)"
"I'm sure you are"
"Here take some crazy pills, they're still in clinical trials but i think you would be okay"
Several minutes after taking the crazy pills, the psychiatrist is thrown out the window from his 32nd floor office.

Wonder if you'll see pretty colours?

What if number 34 and 35 - DOUBLE UP!

What if clouds were really made of candy floss? What if you can fly!!?

Been a little bit lazy recently, and to make it up, this is a special DUO post. Specially formatted for extra fun-age

Well... Where does Superman eat? Well... that's a very nice question. He eats SUPER CEREAL! with Super Moo-Milk and... Super... doughnuts? Maybe...? All reasonable answeres that were never really discussed in any of the comics/film/etc etc. What does superman EAT?!!! Definitely Lewis ;)

ANYWAY! If Superman needs to eat, why not just eat the clouds? Since THEY'RE CANDY FLOSS!!! He can even say to his Super-Dentist that he's been flossin ;) WITH CANDY! He'll probably have a lot of cavities, but it's kewl, he just needs a mirror and then his eye lazer thing. Beeew!!!

Lets cut superman some slack here, if it were you, you'd run up to the sky and eat the candy floss away and then fly to class :D problem solved. What about the airplane's engines? There won't be any... TO BEGIN WITH! Cause you can fly! And eat on the go as well... sweet! Don't have to go down to the nearest island for Maccas.

What if number 33 - Freeze!

What if you had hands so cold when they touch something it freezes?

Well... this will be the first post that sorta include the whole superhero idea (which i've added as a label - indicating there might be more).

"So! Want an ice cream there Timmy?" you ask with your nicest voice
"Yes! I do!" replies Timmy enthusiastically.
"Alright then! *you whip up some stuff with your hands while chilling the cream to a nice temperature of somewhere below 0 :D* DONE!"
"YAY! *as you hand it over to Timmy"
"There's a good boy *you touch his hair and scruffles his head*"
"OUCH! brain fre..."
"Oh fuck! I've frozen his brain.... woops.... *you rush into the front seat of your ice cream truck and drive off at a very fast speed*"

The next day you find on the newspaper there is an article about a man who kidnaps kids and puts them in freezers. CREEPY, who'd do that?

What if number 32 - X-tention?

What if I started including disgusting content to my what ifs?

Well... lately, things have been a bit slow. *throws a dice and then places cards down* I think i need to get the creative juices flowing. But I just can't do it these days. That's why I have a reserve list of things that I've written down.

Some of them interesting... some of them... kinda funny... random... weird.... something i'd probably do in my lifetime (notice how that they are all my labels?). What if I started to include some really really really disgusting stuff.... I know that'll degrade the overall flow of this what if quality, sorta like fear factor, how they sorta just went downhill and then when they've hit rock bottom, they get a diamond bit drill and dig even deeper into the magma! BUT NO! MAGMA DIDN'T STOP THEM! They built that machine that dug through lava and stuff.... like on the core! WORST MOVIE EVER! BAH!

I'll have a think about this, obviously this is quite a big deal imo, cause COMON!!! It's like..... adding shit to a funky sundae. And i like my funky sundaes, with fries in them :D not shit.

What if number 31 - That's a lot of cheese!

What if the moon was made of cheese?

Well.... i suppose... we could send the moon towards the earth and we'll solved hunger for a good long while.... but then again... it might just rot away. That and cause GROBAL RARMING! (global warming) and erase our planet. LETS NUKE IT! says the american government. Cause... they have nukes... LOTS!

Well... if we ignore what we could do with that much cheese... you come to realise. WHO MADE ALL THAT CHEESE? That must be one HUUUUGE BITCH. I mean... cow! The cry of the eternal cow....

Here's a picture I drew that took me longer than it should have... PURELY IN PHOTOSHOP! (wowz - i are newbs)loving that caption ;)

What if number 26 - It's raining what now?

What if actually rains cats and dogs?

Woof woof! SPLAT~!!! Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yeow!
As Timmy wanders out of the pet store disappointed that he couldn't get a pet for Christmas, it begins to rain cats and dogs. Like massive hunks of meat falling from the sky (as massive chunks of meat do) a dog spatters right in front of Timmy. Timmy, now covered in dog-insides screams for his life. Then out of NOWHERE! Another dog rams into Timmy instantly severing his head in the process.

Well.... you might say.... cats can live if you throw them off a building... so that's why every time you masturbate, god kills a little kitten. THAT'S WHY!!! THAT'S WHY!!! Cause dogs just die when they hit the ground. Tragic tragic tragic.

And that's why you need to take the umbrella out Timmy!

What if number 25 - Boom!

What if NASA decided to blow up the moon?
Kaboom! Houston, we have a problem. The moon needs to be blown up.

Of course they'll need an excuse. Something like from Armageddon. LETS NUKE IT. Well... that's the ultimate solution to everything :D When something goes wrong, LETS NUKE IT! Damn Americans and their gaud damn nukes. They make the most nukes and then says everyone else can't make them :D Totally awesumz.

BACK ON TOPIC! Reasons to why the moon needs to be blown up? Maybe..... IT'S ON A COLLISION COURSE FOR EARTH!!!!! omfgz! Totally unpredictable (yea right) Bet it's so they can destroy the evidence that they never landed on the fuckin moon.

Many would say "I like the moon" and i like it too. Cause during a full moon, Andrew gets feral, that's always fun to watch. Him tearing into random civilians that are walking about out at night dealing drugs at 1am in the morning. TOTALLY AWESUMZ. I'd keep him on a leash though.

What if number 24 - Tickle the president

What if Elmo ruled the world?

First things first. Elmo would include his entire gang. And here we go!
That's first of all a scary thought, but I think the secretary of defense would be the cookie monster, since he's gotta be good at defending his cookies right? from annihilation. And a hawt secretary should be none other than Big Bird, either that or he could just be like.... public relations... Yea.... big bird = public relations. Dunno about the gay friends Ernie and... that other one that shares the flat.

Totally have miss Piggy as a hawt sexy secretary lol. Kermit the frog might help too - personal assistant ;)

Not too sure of what this administration would be for though. Maybe education and lots of tickling. Maybe a "tickle the president" day or something, where all kids get to tickle mr president :D Total boost for public relations HA!

What if number 23 - Blood chunks falling from the sky

What if you can eat till you explode?

Hence the bloody chunks falling from the sky. Well... chunks with food in them... eww.... slimy spaghetti, crunched up pieces of meatballs too~~ YUCK.

First of all, this idea did... sorta start from good old GTA(grand theft auto) 3!!!! Good game. Where you had to blow up someone's car while they are in a restaurant eating till their heart explodes. And there it was... the billboard of the place. "All you can eat buffet." With a slogan "EAT TILL YOU EXPLODE" and KABOOM!!!

That was also a case like the in CSI (original - the best one imo) where this guy had nerve damage and couldn't stop eating cause he was constantly hungry - or felt hungry always. Fatty fatty he was, he ate till he died because he stuffed so much food down himself that it pressed on his heart or something and died. Poor fat man :( That's what I mean when you eat till you explode. Not quite~~ But still... to the point.

The moral of this story is. Don't eat too much, even when you feel hungry. It's your body, you are the master of your body, not the reverse. That and Buddha's theory : desire is evil, a life without desire is a pure life. Or something like that. BORING! But... it's true.

What if number 22 - Damn!!

What if that bitch never pays up?

That motha fucker! Totally gonna get an ass whooping if i see that mofo again. Don't you just hate it when you lend someone some dough and they don't return it? And when they return it, they don't even give you a little box of chocolates or something. Damn fuckin little bitches. Makes me wanna cut off their testicals and feed it to them.

I dunno, just a random thought I had as I compiled an ever growing list of What ifs... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! Don't make me get out the pimp cane!

It's a little short, but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! Totally go pay up bitches. Or someone's totally getting an rectal examination. I'm gonna have to clean my pimp stick.
*RED DRAGON - lol*

What if number 20 - Suddenly appear?

What if birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

It'll be like that movie with the crazy birds that kill people wouldn't it be? I mean... birds following you around ALL DAY LONG. SERIOUSLY!!! It'll get old.

I think if birds suddenly pop out of thin air wherever you go, you'll have a lot of birds popping out of nowhere. I'd hope there would be some parrots or something, hire a bird catcher to follow you around and capture them and pawn them off for MONEY!!

OMFG! What if you're on the plane? and birds appear INSIDE THE PLANE!!!? Man! You won't be allowed anywhere!!? That'll blow goat's balls man... totally blow it.

In other words better carry an umbrella around all day if you wanna stay clean :D

What if number 19 - Sunshine!

What if you could walk on sunshine?

I'm walking no sunshine, ooooh oh! I'm walking on sunshine oooh Oh!
That's all I know of the song. It's kinda depressing that that's all i know since it's a lovely song. I'll bet the song was about the dude's girlfriend and the feeling of love.

But beyond that. Walking on sunshine!! Lets just ignore the fact that sun shines everywhere!!! Okay!! You can chose where to walk on sunshine then!

Ya know what i'd do? First I'd walk on sunshine to the top of the roof of the highest building I could find. And then jump step by step onto the ground. Or even better! Slide down sunshine!! ooooo weeeeeee!!! Awesumz! Just hate it if suddenly the sun gets blocked out by the clouds... then i'll be in real shit!

Beyond the normal, I'd probably bike to school going right over traffic oh! but there will be flying cars... that might actually prove difficult to control them cars.

Wouldn't want there to be a cloud in the sky~~